WHEN DID BEING CREATIVE GET SO COMPLICATED?

Lacking motivation, time, and most importantly creativity. 

I've always been a really creative person; it is one of the things that I've always been pretty good at! (I think). Whether that be through my work, fashion choices or how just I express 
myself. However, recently I have not been my usual creative self. I don't know why, but I have been so indecisive, even when it comes to the smallest of things, such as choosing which shoes to wear. I seem to be doubting everything I do, probably due to the unnecessary  pressure I am putting on myself. 

I feel like I'm in that annoying stage where I am desperate to finish uni and work out what I want to do with my future. I’m constantly trying to work out what the hell I want to do, balance a part-time job, get my summer work done and also work on my blog. I'm trying to cram everything in, which has had a knock-on effect on my creativity. I had the same feeling during my second year of uni, where I felt like I have so much I want to do and want to give, that I'm finding it impossible to put my everything into one thing. 

With endless lists of potential jobs, blog posts and day-to-day errands, I cannot seem to focus my  heart solely on one thing. This may sound dramatic, and I guess it probably is, but when you feel like being creative was, I guess your 'thing' and you just seem to have lost it along the way, the amount of frustration is insane!! 

The fact that I still have no idea of what I’d like to do career-wise, is becoming a little bit scary with only one year left at uni. I know lots of people have no idea what they want to do, so in the long run I'm not overly worried, as it will just work itself out. However, with the dreaded dissertation looming, I NEED to find something that interests me and that I can really get into, especially as I am rubbish at writing at the best of times. Unless you can write a dissertation based on 'Rightmove' and home interiors, then I really need to get my head down.

Before starting uni I was so confident with my work, but since starting uni I feel like I've completely lost it (whatever ‘it’ is) and I have to say it's driving me absolutely crazy. I can't say I regret uni, as I must've learnt something along the way and I have met lots of people with similar interests. However, I can't help but think, if I hadn't gone to uni, what would I be doing now? I don't like to dwell on it too much as I'm so near the end, even though it doesn't feel like it, but I can't help but think what if? I guess I just want to feel completely passionate and in love with what I'm doing, and since I’m not completely sure on what I love and not having the time to completely put my heart into something, I feel a little bit lost. As a result I feel like I’m just getting through uni, rather than really getting the most from it. 

My head tells me that after the final year of uni I am going to have some sort of plan and I'll have time to work out really what I want to do and focus my blog in one direction. I have to admit I started my blog wanting it to be more of a fashion/beauty blog, but I hope that one day my blog will be more of a home/interiors blog. It's impossible to do this right now as I live at home and I don't think my parents would be overly impressed if I took it upon my self to decorate the house... My love for fashion and beauty is 100% still there, and it is what I will continue to blog about as if you know me, you will know I love everything about clothes, makeup, skincare and those typical 'girly' things; I love it all. However, I do hope more than anything, that one day I can add that special 'home' section to my blog. 

Who knows what's next, but I need focus on something!

Sorry for the long old rant but sometimes it's good just to get it off your chest!

Until next time, 

Lots of Love, 

Becky xoxo