I feel like I have so much to fill you in on. It has been a just over a year since I lasted posted which felt like one of the longest years by far. Saying that, when I look back my third and final year of uni has flown by and suddenly we have nearly reached the end of the summer.
One thing is for sure – it’s now time to start enjoying life again.
It may sound dramatic but I have spent the last three years hating every second spent on my degree; it was the most physically and mentally draining thing I have ever done and although I am delighted to have now got the degree under my belt nobody prepared me for the toll it would take.
I have been left feeling completely lost and I don’t even know what I like anymore. I guess you could say that I feel I lost myself somewhere along the way, but now I’m back home in an environment with a lot less pressure and more space to think I think I’m slowly getting back on track in the direction I think I want to head.
I assumed that on leaving uni after three years of hell I would turn into my normal happier self overnight but that wasn’t the case. I’ve done some amazing things since leaving Birmingham – I was nominated and shortlisted for a styling award at London Graduate Fashion Week and found out I was graduating with a first, and in my personal life I went on a lovely family holiday and finally turned 21 that came hand in hand with another short break away (thank you Liam). It’s been non-stop and as fun as it has been, with it all happening at once it seems to have all passed by so quickly. I have loved every minute of it and it has been amazing having some time to enjoy myself again without the everyday worries around referencing, budgets and academic journals but now I’ve been left with a bit of a void – I don’t have a project or goal to work towards, so what do I do now?
It’s completely normal to finish uni and not be completely certain on what to do next, but this is the first time in my life I’ve not had something naturally come next. First nursery, primary and secondary school and then sixth form straight onto university… but this September is the first time I’m not going back to study. It’s a bizarre feeling but a good one. I’ve settled back in at home and just started a new job (that I can already tell I am going to love), and I am beginning to think things may just be getting back on track. I’ve found time to enjoy the simple things again like just having the time to bake a cake, go for a coffee with friends and just sit around watching another episode of Gossip Girl in my onesie. Doing all this without a looming guilt that I should be doing work is such an amazing feeling!
Looking back over the summer I do feel a little annoyed with myself that I may not have made the most of it (especially with the weather we’ve had!) but then I think to myself – what is the hurry? It’s perfectly fine to take some time out and just reflect on the past three years. Long term I’m still not 100% certain where I’ll be but I’m realising that’s okay… I’ve got the rest of my life to figure that out! What is important is finding myself again and remembering how to have fun. One of most difficult things to deal with since leaving uni is the expectancy from everyone that if you do a fashion degree you pack up your life and head straight to the bright lights of London at the earliest opportunity. I’ve been asked time and time again why I’m not pursuing a fashion career in the capital right away but to be honest I’m just not quite there yet. I’m 21 (just!) and have plenty of time to do that, for now my priority is working on me and figuring out what career path I want to pursue and that is much easier in the quiet surroundings of Herefordshire with the support of family and friends than in the big city where the source of your next rent and meal are always at the front of your mind. I truly commend those that are able to head straight there, but for me I need to figure out whether it’s a career in interiors or fashion I want to chase after first.
By the time I got to the end of my degree I found that I had fallen out of love with my work, felt sapped of all creativity and just generally struggled to feel inspired. I gave myself a hard time for not getting back into blogging as I’d planned and although many posts were drafted none were quite right, and now I can see that my heart wasn’t in it and I wasn’t prepared to post content that wasn’t up to scratch. Yes I may have missed the chance to post a whole season of summer posts (with this probably being the first and last one) I’m excited to get to work on A/W content as well as sharing with you the complete redecoration project I’m about to get started on in my bedroom. It’s time to say goodbye to the little girl’s room it resembles at long last and create a serene, calm space to chill out in, work and rest.
That became a bit of a ramble but I hope that going forward I’ll be able to focus on lots of brand new high-quality content that I enjoy creating as much as you enjoy reading.
Here’s to the next chapter.
(PS. A huge thank you to my boyfriend Liam for taking me to the most amazing cabin for my birthday in such a beautiful location where these photos have been taken. You can see it here)
Lots of Love,
Becky xoxo
. Outfit .
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